I still can't let go of my failure.
If I could do better maybe I won't feel so terrible.

Hmm..Maybe after learning how to play the Entertainer I could cheer myself up :D

I do wonder why if there's a reason for my failure.
For all of the past mistakes.
(That retarded gay i didnt regret,though it was pretty stupid..And the most damaging...)

Well,I remember in Feburary I expressed my thoughts wrongly and a gangster comes after me like a bull who saw red,umm,i like blue though,sorrie :D
I said that whoever failed that test was a loser.
Obviously,someone from a forum said it right,people are either too serious on the internet or totally not serious.
He got offended,screamed at me. Intially i lied,but the way he confronted me was so scary that instinctively i lied.
I like mushroom soup. Ok,let's move on.
Actually,up till now,im not sure if i did the right thing by confessing or was i too stupid by doing that as I could just get away from it,let things die down and 1 less people who hates me.
I just don't understand why he got so worked up about that.
As I am typing this i am still very irriated at his reaction towards me,I DO NOT OWE HIM ANYTHING OR KILLED HIS WHOLE FAMILY OR DONE ANY HARM TO HIM SO WHY DOES HE HAS TO SCREAM AT ME AS IF I'VE DONE EVERYTHING ABOVE!
All I said was the word loser,no one cares,only you do.
And there was another retard who never asks me for permission when he borrows things,CANT HE JUST ASK?!
Yes I hate his stupid face and i will never forget the way he looked at me on Monday when that gangster screamed at me.
Who does he think he is? King of the world?
Lick my shoe,you are just a lazy bum who is just not as smart as me,you deserve failing that test because you were lazy and didnt study and too bad that you're not as smart as me!
SO STOP GIVING ME THAT HIGH AND MIGHTY FACE!
Im trying real hard not to scold any vulgarities.She doesnt like it. :D

Ok,it's partially my fault that this happened but how would I know that he would react that strongly?!
Maybe it was my mistake to admit it,but maybe,just maybe,i did the right thing to summon the courage to admit my mistakes.

And there was a debate somewhere in..Umm I forgot but i own two teddy bears and it is placed near my keyboard.
Anyway,I had ridiclously smart but unfortunately arrogant teammates except for that gay. There were 4 people,me,gay,smarty shorts and smarty jeans.
Hmm..They got 1st and 2nd in class respectively.

Main point,I had this really bad impression on them right from the start.
I am an "outsider" in the team.
So i felt that they were biased against me and i was feeling uncomfortable around them anyways.
Hmm..Looking back at this,i should be more "normal"..
Yes i was badly scarred in the past,we've been there so no need to go into details.
I was really pissed off when that gay treated me as if i did something wrong to offend him..
At least tell me why instead of acting so high and mighty like the retard who doesnt ask for permission(btw,he doesnt dare to take girl's stuff without permission,what a gentleman.)

Perhaps,it's my fault for letting my emotions take over my rational mind.

So i dont really remember the details anymore..
All i remembered was the shame,he had to cross my line.. I STILL HATE HIM AND I WISH HE COULD JUST HAVE A MISERABLE LIFE,AND GO THROUGH WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!
BURN BURN BURN IN HELL YOU PATHETIC GAY WHO IS SO DAMM LAZY IN YOUR STUDIES AND DO U THINK U HAVE MY INTELLIGENCE TO AFFORD TO BE THAT LAZY? WEAKLING,I COULD SMASH U IN THE FACE AND DISFIGURE IT SO THAT U WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE A PROPER HUMAN!
STOP ACTING AS IF YOU'RE SMARTER THAN ME AND IM THE RETARDED MORON..
"DO NOT MESS WITH THE GAY WHO HAS NO BALLS,OR ELSE?" NOOB,I LET IT GO BECAUSE IT WAS NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE.(you have no balls and i wanted to smash some balls..hehs) BESIDES,THE EVENTUAL WINNER IN LIFE WILL BE ME,BECAUSE UR TOO STUPID TO SURVIVE. (hey,just a rant to let go of my pent-up feelings)(Oh,and him not being as smart as me? It's true.Acdemically :P)
Hmm..that would be nice..But if i had the choice,nah..
What's been done is already done,no point ruining,it can't repair the damage.

Whew,what a long post..
Ok.. That's all for the epic long post!
Byebye~

In a time where my life seems so bleak
Everyday is the same,where the mountain's peak
Impossible to reach,forever so high up in the blue skies
Desperate fights,sorrowful cries
Lost in the chaos until you appeared

As the sun rises,heralding your appearance
Into my small and insignificant life
Afraid to trust the light initially
I ran deeeper into the darkness,trapped within
But when you reached for my hand
All of the darkness faded away

Enticed by the hope of the light you emit
To allow myself to be lost inside of you I permitted
And as the light starts to fade into the darkness
My world started to fade into non-existence once again
I've felt the betrayal of the light and the pain it brings

Sitting on a small hill
Gazing at the skies devoid of light
I wonder when the sun would rise again
Rain started to fall,melancholy notes sustained
From a piano far ahead

Closing my eyes,slowly but surely
Allowing myself to fall into the darkness again
Tears falling like rain
But that famliar hand decided to reached out for me again

Witnessing the rays of light breaking into the skies
I saw the girl who reached out for my hand before
Everything feels so surreal
Looking her in the eye
Was when my heart loved

Paralysed by her awe
I could only watch her
Obsessed by the feelings she creates within me
Touched by her compassion
She was simply breathtaking

But at the very last moment
An empty heart that has lost its confidence
Was what I could give to you

I beileve you'll make it shine with grace again

And
Thanks for brightening up my life and giving my life a whole new direction.
I love you!

Inspired by one of my favourite duel master card,Aqua Surfer.
Besides,I am feeling abit paranoid.

Titled:Wave Goodbye
Thinking about the past I would always smile
The days where nothing really mattered
We were at best soulmates,best friends

I can't let go of my mistakes
I wish to love you but im too scared
How could I even deserve to love you when im afraid to?

What if i break ur heart?

At the end of the day when I finally had the courage
You smiled at me,waving goodbye
All I could do was to wave back,smiling

Inside of me,inside of me,inside of me

Regrets.

Might write lyrics for river flows in you. But it depends..

Yay I finished Ballade pour adeline!!
Quite easy actually except for the epic 32th notes which i managed to be able to play it somehow..
I spent days figuring how to play it!
I actually had a fair idea on how to play it but it was my piano teacher showed me how to then i realised how to play it..
Almost the same,just that she made it clearer..
It's weird to show how though.. I just know how.. (Talented i know =D)
I only know that my wrist was very relaxed.. The other movements involved are very subtle..

Sometimes I look back and i see that the pieces that I couldn't play before like Kiss The Rain,River flows in you.
I printed the sheet music for it a very long time ago.. Maybe about 4months ago..
I didnt even have a keyboard back then.. And I could only play the intro of river flows in you,the 1st 3notes of kiss the rain..
LOLS!
I got my keyboard eventually! 17/08/09! Yeah I still remember..

I used to ask myself if i could ever play those songs someday while i was in the piano studio practising newbie pieces which now when i play it just seems so easy..(that means i've improved which is a good thing! OF COURSE I'VE IMPROVED!)
I have the answer now,yes,i could! (but i still have no pizza!)

Ok,that's all.. Im just being lame and random.. It's the holidays anyways..
Im poor and have no money for pizza! *cries*
Byebyes~

To let go and give up is so easy,yet to continue and hold on is so hard.

Once upon a time,there was a boy who harboured hopes for a girl so far away.
(I believe they had internet,come on,year 1880 with internet?)
At times he felt like giving up,how could this be even possible?
(yeah u have 6 eyes,5hands and 4 nose.. i understand)
He believed in miracles,and the stars that he cast his wish upon..
(I wonder how the stars heard him..Stars have ears?

The boy soon fell into the sorrow within..
Though it attempted to swallow him whole
Yet our hero put up a desperate fight
Our hero soon falls and all's left was the last sad note sustained in the air.

The Eb note.

I speak in riddles,at times,it can be fun,sometimes,there's a message to uncover.

Here's one,you may not understand but if you've loved you will.

If this was some other shop like a shop selling clothes I wouldnt mind you ruining the whole business,but this is a rice shop,many people's lives will be affected.

Doesnt make sense? As I said,if you've loved you have a higher chance of understanding it.

So it has been a really really long time since i posted..(No,6days is not that long)
I have now witnessed the wrath of ascending 32th notes..
I do need alot more practise but actually i've been trying to figure out the correct motion before starting in case of ingraining bad habits..

Yes,i am tired to go on.. So i finally met her and blah blah blah.. Not really la..
I may go into details tomorrow but no promises..
All I can say is that i may have screwed up by simply appearing out of nowhere and disappearing out of nowhere..
It's not my first time anyway LOL!
I dont know.. I was kinda confused the whole time,not knowing what to do..
You can say that i was pretty blur the whole time..
Yes,i dont know how to act around girls but you dont have to remind me..
So i think i was acting pretty weird.. Its like sight reading piano music except that i sight read it quite badly..
Ok,that's all..
Byes~